Cavalier Youth

Since the start of this blog, I've encountered many ups and downs, and I've come face to face with many opportunities that have pushed me to learn more about myself and how the world works. But I'm glad that I didn't have to do all this on my own. It's no secret that I have a best friend that I take virtually everywhere with me, whether in my pocket, in my backpack or just in my head. [Although I would love to take many of my best people friends everywhere, that's just impractical and impossible.] Music is always with me, an invisible companion that I can always rely on to fill the silence, to complement my mood or to alter my state of mind. And there's a particular set of songs that has done all this for me and  has been stuck on repeat, so I'd like to dedicate this post to the album that has helped me through this past year.

{Having just come back from the YMAS concert at the Oakland Metro just an hour ago, I decided that this was the right time to publish this blogpost. I took about a 6 month hiatus from this post, so this is not quite what I had in mind for it to be. However, I do think I did explain the ones that are the most meaningful to me, and I just wanted to highlight the lyrics that stood out to me the most as I listened to the album. The album couldn't have been released at a better time, and it provided the words that I needed to hear.}

Too Young to Feel This Old

"We're not young anymore, what are you so scared of? Is it being alone when we no longer have the sun? I don't need easy if you're there for me to lean on."

• In March, I struggled with the idea of turning 20. I think I was pressuring myself to become a "grown up" too fast; I thought I needed to have this immediate change of pace. I was trying to force myself to do too much at once - wanting to get a job, feeling the pressure to make new connections (whether professional or casual), being nervous about finding housing, and convincing myself that I wasn't good enough. I felt like I had to do this all on my own for the big 2-O.
• This song made me realize that sure, I'm not really that young anymore, but am I really that old? Why am I so scared of growing up? The lyrics reminded me that I do have this wonderful connection of friends and family that I can always lean on for support, no matter how difficult my life gets. I always have the comfort of coming home to people who know how to make me smile and take the pressure off my shoulders.

Lived A Lie

"Well somebody told me, that I would be a dreamer for life. We are believers, we are believers."

Fresh Start Fever

"And it's a fresh start fever, who wouldn't want to be here? Welcome to the future. Dream a little bigger."

• Fresh starts are hard to come by, but when I do get the chance to start over, I gotta just go big or go home. It's not worth it to just sit back and live in the past. I need to get involved, get moving, and create an adventure for myself, live a life worth living. Live for the present while looking toward the future. The past is only there as a stepping stone to where I need to go next.

Forgive and Forget

"Ain't it a shame that we let life change us...Can we forgive and forget, if only for the weekend."

Room to Breathe

"I need a little room to breathe. You're making this harder for me, when all I need is to be set free. I need a little time to think. And if you ever loved me, then all I need is a little room to breathe."

Win Some, Lose Some

"Get away, get away, get away from me. I'm moving on, I'm moving on to better things."

• This is my anthem when I'm in a bad mood. It's hard sometimes to just be happy, even when I try my hardest. But that doesn't mean I don't try to move on to better thoughts or physically move to a more suitable environment for myself. I make my own choice as to what and who I surround myself with: if they won't move, I will, and that's how I need to learn to take care of myself. Making up my mind first, and then putting it to action.

Cold Night

"Don't you let me go this time. I knew the moment I met you, I could never lose you. Say you'll never change."

Hope for the Best

"Well look at the world my friends: we used to live for the weekend. We don't live twice, just let that sink in. Oh I hope for the best, I'm prepared for the worst."

Love Me Like You Used To

"You have brought up my self esteem, just to suck it out of me."

Be Who You Are

"You are my little star. You are my light in the dark, don't change. Just be who you are."

• I imagine Josh singing this to me when I hear this song, reminding me that I am perfect the way I am and I should embrace who I am and what I stand for. The song just makes me really happy and it makes me feel so loved.

Carpe Diem 

"Carpe diem 'til the very end. I have no regrets. Carpe diem 'til the bitter end."

• The lyrics really just speak for themselves.

Wild Ones

"When you're gone there's no one to lean on, and it's me, myself, and I."

• Sometimes I may rely on other people for support too often -- I depend on others to give me positive reinforcement to give myself value. But that's not what is really important; what is important is how I treat myself. It's okay to lean on friends once in a while, but I need to find strength in myself to be who I am.

Tidbits:

• Third time's the charm.
• YMAS is one of the best live bands I've had the pleasure of experiencing.
• Young Guns was really good tonight.