Cavalier Youth

Since the start of this blog, I've encountered many ups and downs, and I've come face to face with many opportunities that have pushed me to learn more about myself and how the world works. But I'm glad that I didn't have to do all this on my own. It's no secret that I have a best friend that I take virtually everywhere with me, whether in my pocket, in my backpack or just in my head. [Although I would love to take many of my best people friends everywhere, that's just impractical and impossible.] Music is always with me, an invisible companion that I can always rely on to fill the silence, to complement my mood or to alter my state of mind. And there's a particular set of songs that has done all this for me and  has been stuck on repeat, so I'd like to dedicate this post to the album that has helped me through this past year.

{Having just come back from the YMAS concert at the Oakland Metro just an hour ago, I decided that this was the right time to publish this blogpost. I took about a 6 month hiatus from this post, so this is not quite what I had in mind for it to be. However, I do think I did explain the ones that are the most meaningful to me, and I just wanted to highlight the lyrics that stood out to me the most as I listened to the album. The album couldn't have been released at a better time, and it provided the words that I needed to hear.}

Too Young to Feel This Old

"We're not young anymore, what are you so scared of? Is it being alone when we no longer have the sun? I don't need easy if you're there for me to lean on."

• In March, I struggled with the idea of turning 20. I think I was pressuring myself to become a "grown up" too fast; I thought I needed to have this immediate change of pace. I was trying to force myself to do too much at once - wanting to get a job, feeling the pressure to make new connections (whether professional or casual), being nervous about finding housing, and convincing myself that I wasn't good enough. I felt like I had to do this all on my own for the big 2-O.
• This song made me realize that sure, I'm not really that young anymore, but am I really that old? Why am I so scared of growing up? The lyrics reminded me that I do have this wonderful connection of friends and family that I can always lean on for support, no matter how difficult my life gets. I always have the comfort of coming home to people who know how to make me smile and take the pressure off my shoulders.

Lived A Lie

"Well somebody told me, that I would be a dreamer for life. We are believers, we are believers."

Fresh Start Fever

"And it's a fresh start fever, who wouldn't want to be here? Welcome to the future. Dream a little bigger."

• Fresh starts are hard to come by, but when I do get the chance to start over, I gotta just go big or go home. It's not worth it to just sit back and live in the past. I need to get involved, get moving, and create an adventure for myself, live a life worth living. Live for the present while looking toward the future. The past is only there as a stepping stone to where I need to go next.

Forgive and Forget

"Ain't it a shame that we let life change us...Can we forgive and forget, if only for the weekend."

Room to Breathe

"I need a little room to breathe. You're making this harder for me, when all I need is to be set free. I need a little time to think. And if you ever loved me, then all I need is a little room to breathe."

Win Some, Lose Some

"Get away, get away, get away from me. I'm moving on, I'm moving on to better things."

• This is my anthem when I'm in a bad mood. It's hard sometimes to just be happy, even when I try my hardest. But that doesn't mean I don't try to move on to better thoughts or physically move to a more suitable environment for myself. I make my own choice as to what and who I surround myself with: if they won't move, I will, and that's how I need to learn to take care of myself. Making up my mind first, and then putting it to action.

Cold Night

"Don't you let me go this time. I knew the moment I met you, I could never lose you. Say you'll never change."

Hope for the Best

"Well look at the world my friends: we used to live for the weekend. We don't live twice, just let that sink in. Oh I hope for the best, I'm prepared for the worst."

Love Me Like You Used To

"You have brought up my self esteem, just to suck it out of me."

Be Who You Are

"You are my little star. You are my light in the dark, don't change. Just be who you are."

• I imagine Josh singing this to me when I hear this song, reminding me that I am perfect the way I am and I should embrace who I am and what I stand for. The song just makes me really happy and it makes me feel so loved.

Carpe Diem 

"Carpe diem 'til the very end. I have no regrets. Carpe diem 'til the bitter end."

• The lyrics really just speak for themselves.

Wild Ones

"When you're gone there's no one to lean on, and it's me, myself, and I."

• Sometimes I may rely on other people for support too often -- I depend on others to give me positive reinforcement to give myself value. But that's not what is really important; what is important is how I treat myself. It's okay to lean on friends once in a while, but I need to find strength in myself to be who I am.

Tidbits:

• Third time's the charm.
• YMAS is one of the best live bands I've had the pleasure of experiencing.
• Young Guns was really good tonight.

Food and Friends

Apartment life means cooking so here are some photos of that, and also here are also some photos of some cool friends:

(I swear I still write posts... this is not becoming a 100% photoblog)

But for now, here's a chicken salad:

Here's black pepper salmon over rice:

Here's banana oatmeal cookies:

 Here's lemon pepper chicken breast over rice:

Here's kimchi fried rice made by chrse and rosie:

Here's A$AP Ferg on the glade with chrse and rosie because that's definitely something I do on a regular basis:

Bok choy with shrimp:

Racha's with rosie:

i luv pumpkins:

Chicken and mozzarella raviolis topped with green onion, with a side of garlic pepper chicken breast and vegetables:

Me in action at Grace's apartment:

Grace and I cooking a single noodle to share #collegelife:

Final product:

Artichoke and Spinach Dip at Jupiter's with Katrina, Christine and Grace!

PIZZA TIME

Bobo Drinks in mason jars with these cool peeps:

Apartment life is great because for me, it's a perfect balance of being with company and being alone with my own thoughts. I have the opportunity to cook my own meals, go to the gym regularly, and paint in my room. I am able to give myself the time I need to recharge from the day's work and on top of that, I get to choose when to interact with friends -- which means when I'm with them, I can give each moment 100% and can enjoy myself fully. Finally finding this balance in my personal life has given me confidence to tackle my classes this semester, and I'm ready for the upcoming challenges.

Anyway, my friends are really great: those who have stuck by me since high school and also the ones that I've met in college. I'm extremely lucky that these friends are all so down to earth and are completely comfortable being themselves in public, no matter how embarrassing. And I'm so glad that we haven't compromised our personalities or values -- sure we've grown as people, we've gotten to experience new things while in our respective colleges, but when it gets down to it, we've stayed true to ourselves. *insert cheesy line here* I'm also really proud of everything that my friends have accomplished so far -- whether it's simple things like eating healthier, or things like becoming presidents of the clubs they're passionate about, pursuing internships that inspire their creativity, being a part of organizations that allow them to grow as writers, artists, people, or just being happy with themselves. It's great to hear about what friends are doing and what they are exploring; it encourages me to try to be a better person as well.

Also, on an unrelated note, I've been writing letters to my mom every so often and have been keeping them in a small notebook. When it's done, I plan to have it filled with my ups, my downs and lessons I've learned along the way. I will be giving it to her either when it's full or at the end of the year. I regret not starting it earlier in my college career, but now's a good a time as any. I think recently (within the past year) is when I really (and I mean really) started to seriously appreciate my relationship with my mom, and I really hope I can demonstrate it more so she can be constantly reminded that she is loved.

All these five paragraphs start with the letter A.

And I hope this means I will be getting them as my letter grades at the end of the semester. One A for each class I'm taking. 

Summer 2014 Photo Summary

I hope you enjoy these photos because I know I enjoyed taking them.

Congrats bro, you graduated:




A pizza truck on the freeway from LA tho:

Home improvement with Chicago PD:

 Kale Chips:

One Republic:

Grandma Gossip:

 

Snowflake Teahouse with the kids:

Werped Tewer:

The Asia trip starts here!

Singapore:

 Penang:

 

Kuala Lumpur:

 

Hong Kong:

Back home:

Color Me Mine:

Sushi @ Takara, Santa Cruz:

Footgolf @ Pruneridge:

Beach with Lucy:

 Happy Birthday Dad!:

Gma and the baby:

 Reunited with my other half:

Ideaband: 

First time tie-dying a large sheet:

Surprise birthday lunch for Cathy!

Back to Berk:

Yo Ed Sheeran:

Quick trip home for end of summer family hot pot with the Ongs! 

Wish summer could have been longer, but it sure was productive. I woke up this summer. I did things for me. I crossed things off my summer bucket list and created memories for me (with friends and family). And now I have the energy and the drive to dive into this new school year.

Time to be involved, to be happy and to learn to be more self confident.