When I was younger, I made New Year's Resolutions. It used to be 3 or 4 goals, then it dwindled down to 2, 1, and then I refused to list any at all. I made the realization that New Year's Resolutions are pretty ineffective in the long run. Even in the short term. It's always something that I knew to be true, but I never really considered how to remedy it. Why wait for the new year to suddenly change? The time to be a better person is now. The time to be a better you is today. That calendar could say 12/15 or 2/6 or even 8/23 [these dates don't really have any significance.. they are just numbers that are aesthetically pleasing to me when put together], but does it really matter? We're often saying hey, this is the year I'm going to eat healthy, I'm going to enjoy life more, I'm going to be more confident. But how often are we saying, I ate healthy today, I lived to the fullest today, I'm feeling more confident today? Forget about putting it off until tomorrow. If you really want changes. Do. It. Now.
This is probably one of my favorite lessons. Also my favorite thing to say to people now. "Dude, just chill."
"When you try your best, but you don't succeed...." Honestly? Who cares? Just try again. Don't freak out. Sure, it might take an emotional toll on you when you don't succeed the first time, but who knows? Maybe you'll learn something from that first try and apply it to the second.
Someone cut you off on the freeway? Sucks to suck, but did you get into an accident? No? Wow! That's very relieving! {And also wow, that one car is definitely what made you late for your meeting. Definitely. Like... chill.}
Someone got your order wrong at a restaurant? Seriously, who cares? People make mistakes. Accept it and move on. And don't make the other person feel bad by aggressively calling them out on it -- they probably already feel guilty!
A hole in your favorite sweater? Chiiiiiiiill. It's not your whole [hole] life.
Wet socks? Relax. Yes it's annoying, but your socks will dry and all will be right in the world again.
{insert any complaint here}? Who cares. Get over it. It's ok. You're still alive. You have so much to live for. Material items can be replaced. And if they can't? Then you have an interesting little story to go along with it. A little thing here and there can't and won't stop you from doing you. [I'm pretty sure I've used this quote before, but I love it and it is always applicable.]
["All that matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae." - Paul Walker]
Lesson #2: Appreciate the world. [This is where the little things matter.]
Computers suck. I love them, but they suck. The internet sucks. I love it, but it really really sucks. Time, that is. Electronics suck up so much time and energy, and they even suck up all the light out of the day. However, over the past two to three months I think I've done well with weaning myself off of this lightweight addiction.
This is only the second time I've been on an actual computer since the start of 2015 (and since the start of winter break), and I love the feeling of being free during the day, not being held down by the latest posts on Facebook or the latest YouTube videos. Yes, sure, I still keep up, but not during the prime hours of the day. Facebook catchup typically in the early morning, a couple of YouTube videos right before bed, but not much in between. And what did this time in the real world give me an opportunity to do? Actually explore. Actually live. Actually do the things I've wanted to do for a long time. Actually get closer to being the person I think I want to be.
One of the best gifts I gave myself this year is my rekindled love for photography and nature. In middle school I used to take walks around the neighborhood or even in the backyard by myself (or with Jumbo) snapping sometimes very mediocre pictures of flowers, birds, rocks, the sunset, random quirky items on the ground with a DSLR that I barely knew how to use. This stopped completely for some reason, I'm not sure why, but this "new year new me" [not really a fan of this term tbh] has gotten back into it, and I love it. But this time around, I've been exploring with friends and family as well, with the convenience of a handy mobile phone with a new and improved camera. The convenience is heaven-sent; any moment could be the right moment for that perfect photo, and the camera is right at my fingertips. One of the most exciting things to do is getting as close as possible to a wild animal and taking a nice candid photo of it in its natural habitat [because having the animal pose in a staged setting is very difficult... they are such divas].
Lesson #3: Shit ain't as bad as you might make it out to be.
Seriously. Don't overanalyze. I had so many sleepless nights trying to figure out a plan that would make every single person happy, without even bringing up the topic in question. I thought of the worst case scenarios, like losing all my friends or everything just falling apart. I thought it would be okay to sacrifice my own health and well-being for the happiness of others, but that was clearly not the right path. The answer to this problem is Lesson #4.
Lesson #4: Talk about shit.
Don't keep it all to yourself. If you talk about problems or concerns with other people/other parties involved (while still early in the game) it is easier to figure out a compromise and the proper solution. And in this case, talking about my concerns helped bring other concerns to light. Not everything is 100% solved quite yet, but we're getting there.
Lesson #5: Opt to go at your own pace.
Dammit, who cares if your friend has 100 more friends than you? Who cares if your friends are in 15 different clubs, yet you are only in 2? Who cares if they're constantly going out all the time, but you're not invited to anything? If people aren't inviting you, then invite other people. Don't compare yourself to others, even if they're your closest friends. Everyone is different. Don't force anything upon yourself. But also don't be afraid to challenge yourself once in a while. Just don't overdo it. Go at your own pace.
Lesson #6: Always be open to new things.
~ This will always be in progress ~
Final Thoughts:
Lesson 1: Chill out, yo.
Lesson 2: Appreciate the world.
Lesson 3: Shit ain't that bad.
Lesson 4: Talk about shit.
Lesson 5: Opt to go at your own pace.
Lesson 6: Always be open to new things.
Lessons 1-6: C A S T O A
Cast - O - A.
Cast away.
Cast away those old habits, those old mindsets that are hindering your personal growth and exploration. Be the person that you think you want to be at this moment. Work towards it every day -- it's not going to happen overnight, but after a while when you look back, you'll be proud of the progress.
